Over the past few weeks, which have flown by in what seems like no time at all, I have felt an increasing amount of pressure on myself regarding the final product for ISM. Most of this pressure results from my high standards for myself; I want the music that I make this year to be impressive and unique, and something that I can be proud of. It is hard to make music like this, though. I am very busy with school and other hobbies, and as soon as I get the chance to relax, all I can think is "I should be writing lyrics" or "This is a waste of my time, I need to be producing" or some other idea of the like. In all honesty it is exhausting; I am balancing a lot of very heavy plates, and music seems to be one that I am throwing up and down and spinning in circles at the same time. I feel a sense of guilt when I do something for my self that I know is not contributing to the success of my final product, and I really wish I didn't. Regardless of that though, I have to get it done. I refuse to roll over and quit, so all that means is less time for myself and more time for music. Maybe it is not ideal, but thats okay; it will only be a month or so, and that I know I can handle.
Something that I also think could help is looking at music a different way. I should not be making this for anybody other than myself. Not for Cody, not for Coach Goff, not for my classmates, not for the audience on final presentation night. This perspective helps me to relax and work more efficiently.